All My Mistakes

If you know me well, you know I have some issues with letting everyone in, being "self-less" as my Mom refers it. I do not see it the same way. Yeah, I know, my Mom and I have a disagreement, what a crazy thought, eh? haha. jk, mom. Anyway, I see this "selflessness" asa very good thing. I thtink it should be more of a selfish thing, because I truly learn so much from all of my mistakes. I don't know it at the time, I don't take it all in either, but it really truly is a way of taking everything in and then later on I digest it, look back, and say "wow, what a trip I've had to make it here" So, I went through a lot of different "love" situations, where I truly did love, and I truly did feel, but I had to get through all of those to get to where I am. So, thankful for where I am... much like one of my favorite songs.

Shooting off vicious collections of words
The losers make facts by the things they have heard
And I find myself trying hard to defend them

I made decisions some right and some wrong
And I let some love go I wish wasn't gone
These things and more I wish I had not done

But I can't go back
And I don't want to
'Cause all my mistakes
They brought me to you

I have some "friends" they don't know who I am
So I write quotations around the word friends
But I have a couple that have always been there for me

And I missed some fun 'cause I worked through the dawn
Expecting your praise when I returned home
But I paid the cost 'cause I got left alone for the songs

But I can't go back
And I don't want to
'Cause all my mistakes
They brought me to you

These lyrics say a lot about the things I have thought about lately. I have made mistakes, I have been places in my life I'm not proud about, but I can't go back and I don't want to. yes, so here I am. Yes, my husband lives 3 hours away, I will probably see him 10 more times before he leaves for months to foreign places to defend our country. Yes, ten times. Some people see their spouses ten times in an hour, and are unhappy. I will see him, 10 times, in ten months, and be so happy. I love where I am because I know it's as good as it can get right now. I have a great support group of family, friends, my roommate, my dog, and my husband, who asks me everyday if I have "shot a photo today" not to nag, but to show his support of me, my dreams, and my life. Sometimes you need a little boost to get to your dreams. All my mistakes.

Here is a picture that still makes me smile. The larger one is of the whole room, the close up is of the same photo, but is hilarious :) Natalie's room gets wonderful light, I liked it this day. Bright, cheerful, smiles, calming, happy.