I'll be waiting

heard a great song today.. I had downloaded Michael Franti's newer album and on there is a song called I'll be Waiting. Well, this was an appropriate picture to go with this song.. so I figured I would post it.

Its funny the little pieces of life you remember. I remember once when I was going through a break up a long time ago, an old manager I had at Bonefish Grill named Tom said.. "When you're going through a break up, never listen to the radio, because no matter what you will always find a line or something that will make you think of your situation and it'll make you upset." No, I'm not going through a break up, but longing for Kris to be home is pretty similar.

On the way to the hospital to have the baby, my mom and i had a pretty silent ride... and I turned on "Lucky" by Jason Mraz... well, it's me and Kris's song.. I cried hard for the whole song, singing through my tears... I almost wish I had videoed it.. it was a very sentimental moment...

I guess that little piece of advice was so true, but I can't be without music if I'm upset about something. A good song can totally make my day...

the caterpillar.

When I found out I was pregnant, my stepmom and i had a conversation about wanting to find a stuffed animal to photograph the baby with... I wanted a large animal that I could place her next to every milestone age and then be able to look at how much she grows over time. Well, she found this caterpillar and we loved it. So bright and cheery and happy... just like Clara Bear! So, here is Clara, 2 weeks old.. until next time.. :)

I almost feel like I should photograph me next to this thing... it's HUGE.. :)

clara's tattoo

considering some of my friends and that they are covered in tattoos, it seems odd to me when I'm out and people strike up conversations with me about mine. They are small and miniscule considering some. I mean, I understand when people ask Kris about his, that's noticable and I mean, C'mon... it's Popeye anchors!... so, like I said, when people notice mine which are just simple stars on my wrists, I'm always looking at them like "what the heck are you talking about?"

So, at the hispital a lady asked when Clara would be getting her first tattoo and I immediately responded with.. "Whenever she wants, as long as it's not some dumb boy's name..." well, that really truly is my response, but.. I just feel like that's an odd question to ask... does anyone ever ask people with pierced ears when they will allow their children to pierce their ears? or what about hair dye?

So, I think if we could get tattoos that match ours would be something along the lines of this old school type style... this was Clara's "going home from the hospital" outfit, but she actually fits into it now... it's quite sad...

We love you Daddy.

who does she look like game...

So, while I was in the hospital, everyone kept saying how much she looks like both of us, but then on facebook everyone swears she looks like me. I think she has a good bit of both of us... we'll see once she gets a little bit older... but, today I noticed that her eyelashes are growing super long, and that is definitely a trait from Kris, he has a hard time finding sunglasses because his eyelashes hit the lense, which is something that any girl would love to have. So, hope she ends up with this trait from him! :)

Just found out that Kris can view the blog, so it's an easy way to get pictures to him, because his email clogs up (i dunno WHO would write him so much that that would happen! :) ) So, I will be posting more and more Clara photos here! yay :) Maybe I should make her a blog... hmm.

growing up so quick...

our baby girl is already outgrowing Newborn clothes! and shes into the big girl cloth diapers now instead of the newborn ones!! she will be two weeks tomorrow!

my beautiful dreamer.

We never dreamed you'd be so beautiful...
In all of the times we tried to imagine
every last detail of who you would be,
thru all of the nights we spent quietly thinking
of how we would feel
when we first looked at you,
we patiently waited
and silently wondered.
We hoped and we prayed
and we tried to imagine...
but we never dreamed you'd be so beautiful.

it won't be like this for long

As you all know, Kris has been VERY supportive, moreso than some husbands who are physically here for their children! Last time we talked on the phone he said something that is somewhat bittersweet. There's a country song by Darius Rucker (yes, hootie) that's called "it won't be like this for long" (see lyrics below) and this was Kris's response to me in one of my ramblings about dealing with a newborn. I know there's an end in sight to all of this crazy hectic feeding and sleep schedule.... but, it's hard...

All my life, I am always the one in the crowd who says "no worries, I can do it" and 9 out of 10 times, I can... I surprise myself sometimes. Well, I made it through most of the pregnancy alone with family coming in and out helping when they could, which was nice to have... but sometimes, you just want your best friend there to hold your hand the whole way. Now, if you had asked me 4 years ago if I could make it through this alone, I would have said Yes, definitely, and I would have kept trudging forward as if nothing had happened. but, after meeting Kris, all of that changed. Yes, I'm independent, Yes, "I can do it" but... I guess the question lies in whether or not I want to do this alone... and i dont. I know even if he was here, I would still have to breastfeed and be awake and I would struggle just as much, but, I suppose "Misery loves company".. So, my motto for the next few months, in a bittersweet way will be, like my husband and Darius Rucker say... "It wont be like this for long"


He didn't have to wake up
He'd been up all night
Layin’ there in bed listenin’
To his new born baby cry
He makes a pot of coffee
He splashes water on his face
His wife gives him a kiss and says
It gonna be OK

It won’t be like this for long
One day we'll look back laughin’
At the week we brought her home
This phase is gonna fly by
So baby just hold on
‘Cause it won't be like this for long

Four years later ‘bout 4:30
She's crawling in their bed
And when he drops her off at preschool
She's clinging to his leg
The teacher peels her off of him
He says what can I do
She says now don't you worry
This’ll only last a week or two

It won’t be like this for long
One day soon you'll drop her off
And she won’t even know you're gone
This phase is gonna fly by
If you can just hold on
It won’t be like this for long

Some day soon she'll be a teenager
And at times he'll think she hates him
Then he'll walk her down the aisle
And he'll raise her veil
But right now she's up and cryin’
And the truth is that he don't mind
As he kisses her good night
And she says her prayers

He lays down there beside her
‘Til her eyes are finally closed
And just watchin’ her it breaks his heart
Cause he already knows

It won’t be like this for long
One day soon that little girl is gonna be
All grown up and gone
Yeah, this phase is gonna fly by
So, he's tryin’ to hold on

‘Cause it won’t be like this for long

clara's laughing face :)

sweet girl :) something was really funny!

Clara's first bath!

Thanks Aunt Brenda, Mee Maw and Georgianna for the bath stuff! We had fun with it today getting Clara all squeaky clean!

My little model :)

Clara didn't want any part in modeling for me today :) so, I took a few and then did what any mother would do... tortured her more by giving her her first bath... haha :)

Our Flowers and Clara's books.

When Kris and I found out we were having a baby, like most couples, we had a conversation of values, things we both thought that every child needed. Well, one of the things we both said was books. Childrens books are such an important part of a child's life. They need imagination, fiction and even just help learning to read. So, for the last few months of my pregnancy and everyday since she was born, Clara has had a book read to her. Before Kris left for deployment he recorded himself reading books and I play them for Clara as well. Today we received our first video from Daddy!!! It is through a program called United Through Reading where they allow the sailors a half hour to read a book on a video and then send the dvd out to their homes. It was so great to see him, and there were times when it felt like he was staring me right in the eyes. I can't wait for Clara to get to watch it when she is older! Kris recorded it on Clara's due date, even though she came 6 days later! :)

Kris also sent us flowers on Sunday. They were marked with a note "Pretty flowers for my Pretty Girls" Well, you're the best and Clara Luna and I enjoy looking at them and being reminded that somewhere ont he other side of the world is a sailor missing us as much as we miss him!

Gramma

While playing the waiting game awaiting Clara's arrival, my Mom came up once she found out I was dilated. Taking the 8 hour journey from Ga, she was so worried that I would deliver and not have anyone here, or that she might miss it herself. Had you told me at age 12 that I would, at 27, be living in the same home with my mother for over a month, I would have laughed so hard I peed myself and then looked at you like you were crazy.

I spent years not communicating with my mom, pushing her away and really treating her horribly, I started to really understand her when I was 21. My 21st birthday my mom and stepdad were my designated driver for half the day. They came to brunch and watched me at 1030 am act a fool with my friends and drink mimosas, mojitos and the occasional tequila shot.... it was after this that I realized she is not as judgmental as I once thought.

I have taught her a lot too... and tried my best to broaden her horizons teaching her the things I learn about life, food and just people in general. Through socialization I have learned so much about topics I never would have thought I would know anything about. I am truly a believer in learning through conversations. I have these conversations and then always come back to mom... talking things through with her and having her put her two cents in. These two cents I never really wanted nor did I appreciate them when I was younger. I know I'm not old and we have many many years to come, but I just wanted to let her and you know that we have come a long way.

This entry's for you, Mom. Thanks for not giving up on me over those years and years that I ignored the phone, deleted the emails and when I did answer snapped at everything you said. I've always said if anyone can push my buttons, it's you... and I guess this time around you've found the good button, the one that controls my heart.

While I lay here, Clara on my chest sound asleep, juggling my computer on my lap and multitasking I'm reminded of the way you raised me to be strong, independent and smart. Without your influence, I may not have learned these traits. Now, a college graduate (finally), married to the most wonderful man who ever stepped on the earth, and most recently becoming a mother myself, I just have to Thank You for your influence on me, and I will pass on these traits and qualities to Clara, your granddaughter.

I Love You Mom. You're already a great Gramma!

Clara Estelle Nichols... finally here!

So, the day finally came. Here are some pictures from her big debut! :) Twenty minutes after birth her Daddy called thinking we had been home and gotten a good night's rest. Boy, was he surprised! So, at 9:54 am, on March 15th the beautiful being came into the world. On her medical records it states that she was delivered "through summersault" and she was 8 lbs 10 oz. It was a great day that seems so surreal now, a week later. It's hard to believe. Sorry I didn't post sooner, but... i've been a little busy! (as you can imagine) But, I will be posting more here in a little bit.

And, on to the next day :)

(Excuse the way I look.... this was the very first 5 seconds of me realizing I was a Mom... it was a crazy 12 hours!)

Clara Estelle Day 2 and 3 :)

I finally (took 3 days) got out my camera :) I've been working on recovering instead of making artwork... the best piece of artwork was born on March 15h!! Welcome to the world.... we love you!

Baby Lexie Mackenna Eberwein's first of many shoots to come :)

I love these little girls :) Sara and I had fun taking photos... even though Lexie was a little cranky with me... figures, she slept for hours after she left the house... never fails :) But, I think we got a few that were fun :)